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Post by Monster Master on Feb 29, 2008 18:45:59 GMT -5
MM's Rosie
Hyper's Davy Stoned
vs.
OR's Carcharius
IR's Tortonne
Rules: Normal
Ref: KaosoGoji
Arena: London
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Post by HyperGFreak on Mar 1, 2008 0:31:00 GMT -5
London. Home of Brits, the posh, fleas, head lice, dog shit, and that blasted Brit East India Trading Company. Or maybe it wasn't, but Captain Davy Stoned was correct about few things, and he cared about even less. Regardless of whether he was stereotyping, saying the generally offensive thing, or being racist or the like, the mystical squid seafarer didn't give much thought to others, and now he was here in London...to do...what?
Get those damn Brits, that's what. But for what? Why was the Captain of the Womanizing Dutchman infuriated now?
"Ye Brits got no balls!" a figure roars as it rises from the sea, covered in black, squiddy beard writhing, hat tipped on head. As it steps out, the sea deity seems to grow at a rapid pace, just like Jet Jaguar or Ultraman. "Ye hear one thing on the papparazzi, one thing, ye pull out! Back in me day, the prince actually did something in ye good olde war! The lad wants to fight, ye let him fight!"
People scream as Davy storms down the street, roaring in a fairly stupid and unintimidating manner, while ineffectually swiping at rooftops with his lobster claw as he goes. At last he reaches his destination, the center of the city-
"AHARRR!" Davy roars as he stomps his ginormous boot down on the tea warehouse. "Ye dirty swags, that's what ye get for making me Boston Harbor taste like tea!" Of course, he gives no heed to the fact that the Tea Party was the American's doing.
That done, Davy spins in the city and pounds his broad, barnacle-encrusted chest with both fist and claw. "Hear, ye, hear ye, come ye one and all, big and buff, fat and ugly, come ye all to kick ass and take yer names!" That being said, Stoned grasps for his sword and waits for something totally random to appear, like a flying cow, a walrus, a zucchini, a turtle, Bob Hope, or a shark out of water.
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Post by Monster Master on Mar 1, 2008 0:46:27 GMT -5
Saberon sneered in the voids of space, watching on in appreciation as the kickassery pirate levels London. Then a thought crossed the tyrannical leader's mind...
"Set Rosie loose, let them meet." He said coldly. The other Klenthurians merely looked dumbly at him. "I said set him loose, god dammit!!" The works quickly turned, busying themselves with various needy things that had to be done for such a long-distance teleportation.
"Let those who kick ass... Kick ass together!" Saberon announced, laughing like the murderous reptile he has been famed to be.
The dark skies above London flashed with alien lightning as Rosie was cascaded through the teleportation field to the center of London to meet the deity. The ground exploded upward in a pillar of burning fire that quickly out did that of the damage of the Blitz.
Then the sounds came... The walrus noises.
Rosmarus Maximus, the one and only Killer Tusk, rose up. Standing amidst the flaming Hell, he barked at the pirate that was now eying him.
His hand, tipped with dagger-like claws, rose up and clenched into a fist. The walrus' head tilted and the fist smashed on Rosie's chest once as if it were a drum before falling back to his fury side.
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Post by Omegarex24 on Mar 1, 2008 0:56:52 GMT -5
The English Channel churned and frothed as a massive fin sliced through the water, splitting boats as it traveled towards shore. Carcharius torpedoed from the depths, landing on his feet before the twin titans.
Seafood, his favorite.
He salivated profusely at the prospect of a good meal, when he noticed the approach of another creature. He would assess it's threat later. Right now, it was chow time...
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Post by Inferno Rodan on Mar 1, 2008 2:30:28 GMT -5
Tortonne wanders into the area. He sees a bipedal great white with large arms facing off with a giant squid-faced man with a crab claw and a bear-walrus sporting a mohawk. He sighs and shakes his head at the thought of him being the most normal kaiju of the bunch, then takes his place next to Carcharius.
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Post by kaosugoji on Mar 2, 2008 1:20:41 GMT -5
Let the slaughter begin.
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Post by HyperGFreak on Mar 3, 2008 10:34:08 GMT -5
(So, I goin' first?)
"Arr, I tells ye, what be this world coming to, I don't know," Davy snarls, giving Rosie a look. An enormous walrus, he'd asked for, and lo and behold, he'd received...a giant walrus...with a mohawk. And then there were the matters of the great white shark and the ginormous yet seemingly mundane shelly-wanna be watching him, too. Without further ado, Davy turns his attentions to Cacharius.
"What? There be more of ye? Well, the map did say 'here be monsters....'" the pirate cackles, making it very unclear what type of navigational system he used in his spare time (apparently, AAA Triptiks). "Thought I rammed the last of ye Jaws a few years back, killed yer too...only I think that was a Manatee...and I wasn't supposed to kill those..." With a snort that shakes his beard and a click and a clack of his claw, Davy puts on a rapid burst of speed and shoots towards Carcharius.
Halfway there, he leaps into the air and turns his form to the side so that his peg leg faces the shark, before lashing out with a fearsome kick, the sharpened tip of the crab foot stabbing rather accurately into Carcharius's broad chest. It penetrates the rough skin, a tiny jewel of blood appealing right at the tip, but the real damage doesn't come until Davy once more activates the drilling function of his foot, allowing it to rotate and stab deep into the flesh of shark, rotating in and pounding deeper while shaking both their forms.
A bloody froth splurts over the crab leg as Davy removes it from the few meters it had been embedded into the flesh, leaving a starburst of red foam over the chest of Carcharius and a perfectly circular hole. Hastily, Davy hops back, unsheathing his sword, fairly positive that sharks didn't get very happy over blood...
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Post by kaosugoji on Mar 3, 2008 20:07:47 GMT -5
Oops...
Post order:
Hyper
OR
MM
IR
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Post by Omegarex24 on Mar 6, 2008 12:06:08 GMT -5
Carcharius howls in pain, ignoring the walrus and the turtle for the moment. The squid will be the first to die. Saliva flows in great quantities from his opened maw as he charges forward, swatting Davy's sword aside before he claws his jaws down on the pirate's face, crushing and rending a mass of tentacles which he promptly yanks free and swallows. Davy has very little blood though, and the anti-coagulant injected into his system with the attack would prove to be a bit of a waste.
But, the flesh was supple and yielding, and Carchius lunged forward again, ready to tear off another chunk of the mollosk man's face...
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Post by Monster Master on Mar 7, 2008 15:53:25 GMT -5
But Rose just wouldn't allow it. By the time the shark was near, the thick, powerful paws of the walrus clutched it by the throat in mid-attack. The other arm came forward, the hand closed into a lethal fist. The powerful punch would have sent the shark flying...If not for the other arm clutching his throat and holding him up.
The arm came back again and was thrust forward into a second punch, and then a third when Rosie finally released the shark-like beast. The walrus snorted, spitting out a loogie from between its massive tusks as he brushed his fury chest with the back of his right paw.
He then turned... Looking at Tortone. His other hand came up and fingers waved 'Bring it on.'
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Post by Inferno Rodan on Mar 13, 2008 14:49:23 GMT -5
Tortonne gladly abliges, roaring and charging at the walrus monster. He reels his arm back, balling his hand into a fist before launching it at Rosie's skull. The powerful right hook connects with Rosie's left cheek, snapping his head to the right and causing him to stumble in the same direction
...Or at least it would have if a similar blow hadn't come from Tortonne's left hand a moment later, resulting in a reversal of the fall. Now back in a vertical position, Rosie wobbles for a moment before falling backwards, knocked unconcious by the twin blows.
With a grunt, Tortonne leans down and grips Rosies ankles, then swings around and releases, flinging the unconcious walrus at Davy.
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Post by HyperGFreak on Mar 20, 2008 9:41:45 GMT -5
(Sorry for delay.)
"Turtle son of a bitch!" Davy roars as the stunned and dazed Klenthurian walrus sails in his direction. With not much choice, but full aware of his somewhat effective resilience against physical damage, he slams his boots and claw leg into the ground, leaning back and bracing himself for impact. The next moment, Rosie slams full hard on into the pirate's chest, causing the old sea dog to rock back on his heels, cursing as he struggles to keep upright. Finally, wrapping his beard around the unconscious Rosie and clamping his claw comparatively gently around his upper arm, Davy manages to pull the hard-headed beast's skull out of his chest and drop the creature on the floor at his feet.
Still, seafarers have strong senses of right and wrong, and while pillage, plunder, and thievery seem to be on the wrong side of the coin, tit-for-tat and owning favors still are. And with Rosie having saved Davy from even more facial disfiguration than normal, Davy now wants vengeance on Tortonne, and if possible, Cacharius as well. Out of his beard rises a tendril, a cheapo metal locket wrapped around it. A second tentacle flips it open, and with a roar half-battle cry, half-horror, he lobs it straight at Tortonne, before his mass of beard hair rises up to cover his ears, as he tries to lug Rosie out of range with his foot.
Both the nearby and Cacharius and Tortonne look down at the relatively unimpressive, two-story sized Bling bouncing to rest at the oversized turtle's feet. Neither seem very afraid, but their facial expressions soon change as a very familiar and equally horrifying tune emanates from the innards of the tinny music box. The nightmarish sounds of Kenny Rogers, singing a sappy love song, fills the London air, visible sonic waves spreading the plague of Romeo and Juliet into the sky. Rosie, being out cold, fares the best, with no knowledge of the song, only his mohawk ruffled by the sound waves. Davy lets out a howl, but merely stumbles away some more, far from the blast radius.
All around London, Brits look up from what they are doing as the horrendous song spills into their minds, screaming in utmost terror as they attempt to shut out the utter crappiness of it all. People fleeing the carnage fall to their knees and begin to cry, others stuck in beds with their lovers roll to the sides in disbelief, and pedophile priests masquerading in the many churches begin to pray. Those still alive near the four leviathan's combat begin their descents off the cliff of sanity; one man in his kitchen in a house not yet crushed by Cacharius's foot wails in terror, tries to commit suicide with a butcher knife, misses, and locks himself in the freezer.
Cacharius, while rather unaware of what Kenny is saying, still lets out an irritated snarl at the disgusting sound bombarding him, while Tortonne takes the brunt of the attack. Unable to do much more than snarl weakly as the Bling does its work, he rocks back and forth on his heels, side to side, as his mind numbs and dulls, blood beginning to slide out of his eardrums and beak. Tottering, he tips a bit to the left, and then a bit more to the right, as plumes of flame rise up around him and the sonic waves increase in intensity as does Kenny's volume, his form shimmering and shaking.
With a thump, the traumatized beast crumples to the ground besides the Bling, the sonic waves now also attacking his vicious shell and armor. His plates start to tremble, gore spilling out from beneath them, as a multitude shatter and pop right off. His hard shell is much more resistant, though even then two or three small fractures can be seen. Howling in pain, wishing for the declarations of sappyness to stop, just STOP, Tortonne flails, clawing at his throat, his face, his eyes, his ears just like everyone else exposed such to the tune.
Finally, a wildly swinging limb clips the Bling, knocking it shut, and blessed silence spreads over the entire city. Davy hocks a slimy pore loogie onto Rosie's face, hoping that'll wake the dang walrus up, before walking over to retrieve his possession, keeping a close eye on that maniacal Jaws-wannabe. Finally, flipping Tortonne's already bloodied head back to expose his neck with his peg crab leg, Davy makes to drive the AIDs Blade deep.
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Post by Omegarex24 on Mar 24, 2008 23:09:32 GMT -5
Carcharius snarls, irritated, but far from out of the fight, as eh charges forward, slamming his jaws shut on Davy's arm. The AIDS Blade is of no concern to him, for he is immune to such diseases. But Davy's arms are no match for the crushing force of his bite, as his crabby armor splinters and cracks, sickening fluids spilling out as Carcharius begins to dig his claws into Davy's chest, solidifying his hold on the semen...er, seaman...
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Post by Monster Master on Mar 25, 2008 0:20:09 GMT -5
Rosie stood tall, his fur releasing the debris that had been trapped between it from the last attack to him. The sea-going pirate would have to wait, even if it is his partner.
He stood up and his dead-brown eyes glared at the turtle beast. If he could speak... He would...
"You som' bitch."
The walrus stormed forward with shocking speed and stride lengths. Tortonne returned his shouts, but his roar came late and the walrus planted a nasty punch to the side of its face. The other fist came upward, smashing the bottom jaw into the top and quickly forcing the edges to crack and splinter.
Tortonne staggered backward, ready to strike again with his hammer-like blows, but Rosie's right arm came up, grabbing the turtle's elbow and, at the same time, turned around, forcing the beast to half-lean on his back.
The other arm came back, gripping what it could of the waist and continued to bend and thrust back and fourth as he continued to pull Tortonne onto his back. By now, the turtle was starting to fight back.. But his feet had left the ground, and now Rosie was merely taking aim...
He turned again, keeping Tortonne on his back, he spun again, picking up more speed before, bending over fully, and releasing. While the distance wasn't great, Tortonne was sent hurling toward his ally... Carcharius.
The shark was unprepared as his friend smashed full-force into him. Both laid in a pile, blood seeping from various areas on Carcharius where Tortonne's own claws, beak, and even shell had punctured his gray flesh.
Rosie shouted in glee again. He stepped back, carrying on as he smashed the ground to a pulp with steps to the side. His Mohawk moved about on his head as he waved his arms... Daring Tortonne and Carcharius to attack him.
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Post by Inferno Rodan on Mar 27, 2008 10:26:31 GMT -5
Rosie would not have to wait long, as Tortonne quickly gets to his feet and turns to face the walrus. He charges at the mammal, hooking one arm between Rosie's legs and gripping Rosie's shoulder with the other. Before the walrus monster can react, Tortonne lifts him off the ground and flips him upside down, then promptly throws him, face-first, back to the ground.
Rosie falls onto his back, leaving a face-shaped imprint where he kissed the pavement. With that, Tortonne raises his foot in preparation to bring it down on Rosie's chest.
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