|
|
Post by Monster Master on Sept 24, 2007 16:32:50 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Omegarex24 on Sept 24, 2007 16:33:53 GMT -5
Post intros up in this mutha!
|
|
|
|
Post by Monster Master on Sept 24, 2007 16:41:44 GMT -5
It was daytime, but yet there was no sun. No clouds. No nothing. Darkness had come, and it came swift. From a ball of shadows, the ancient one emerged. Mace in hand and spears over his shoulders, Darklore raised his arms to the side, announcing his freedom from that blasted hydra. Now who would fall by his might first?
|
|
|
|
Post by HyperGFreak on Sept 25, 2007 9:40:24 GMT -5
“Well, lookie here, boys! The famous escapee from Orochi’s belly! And here he is now!” A voice containing the arguably shittiest Scottish accent in the world rang out under the black skies, emanating from behind Darklore.
The God Slayer swivels, weapons at the ready, only to see a humanoid figure in tattered clothing standing knee deep in the bay not far from him. As Darklore stares, the creature now pivots in a second to face the other, even catching Darklore himself off guard with his slimy face and the tentacle-rape beard that wriggled and clutched onto his pirate hat. Captain Davy Stoned raises an eyebrow, or at least what he had that passed for an eyebrow, as he notes Darklore’s striking similarity to his lobster claw in the form of his bony jaw “hand.”
“Look, matey,” he begins as he strides out of the sea, the ground beneath his boots shattering with each step and his crab leg repeatedly puncturing the cement. “Yer a really nice guy, ye know that? On other circumstances, I’d really like to take ye out for a beer. Ye got out of the hydra. Yer good. But...” Here Davy stops about fifty meters from Darklore and holds out his hand, his long middle finger swishing at the other. “Ye need to gimme yer demon souls. They’re a Class A infringement of me rules, ye know. All souls go to me locker, or you pay them fifty cents and shove them on a rowboat to go to me locker. One of the two.”
“Come on, God Slayer, we can do this the easy way or the hard way...”
|
|
|
|
Post by Omegarex24 on Sept 25, 2007 12:20:30 GMT -5
The avatar of destruction, the Apocalypse Dragon himself, flips both kaiju the bird and demands that the slaughter commences.
|
|
|
|
Post by Monster Master on Sept 25, 2007 14:53:51 GMT -5
Darklore moves his head to the side and raises his mace. Dark energy quickly began to swirl around it like some cliche from a 1980's demon movie. Davy Stone waved his claw around, it snapping in front of his face as he continued to taunt the age-old God Slayer.
"You fool!" The demon shouted, raising his voice to the point it sounded as if the thunder in the sky was speaking, "I'll swallow your soul!"
"Ye and what army!?" The pirate-like Davy answered as he waved his claw again. "And I have no-"
The pirate's answer was cut short as a bolt of black lightning launched itself from the mace. The Shadow Lightning exploded on the sea-going man's face, sending chunks of squirming tentacle and flesh to the ground in front of him. As the being stumbled back, Darklore's T. Rex-like jawed hand rose up and opened, a Shadow Beam firing out, targeting the man's chest.
|
|
|
|
Post by HyperGFreak on Sept 26, 2007 9:35:27 GMT -5
The bolt of shadow energy does nothing more than smite the ground harmlessly, though, for the good...or, bad captain is no longer residing there. To his credit, Darklore figures out what has happened fairly quickly and spins to see Davy Stoned standing behind him, his hand in his pant pocket and the still un-singed tendrils of his beard thoughtfully toying with the blackened stumps of those that had suffered damage.
“Yer fast,” the pirate squid comments as he removes his hands from his pockets, “and I know yer faster. So ye want to do this the hard way, then?”
A zipping sound fills the air, followed by a resounding thunk as three or four blade discs zip through the air and slam into Darklore’s rubbery chest between the bony plating, quivering as they are embedded there. Darklore looks down to observe the circular objects, noting that they resemble bronze pirate money with intricate symbols patterned on it. However, before the God Slayer can summon up his best “WTF?” expression and retaliate, the insignias glimmer a light blue.
The next moment, an electrical field envelopes the demonic monstrosity, bluish nets of lightning pulsing over his frame. Darklore twitches and snarls as his form is covered in waves of energy, while several bolts of lightning punch out of his back from the discs, spraying into the air along with a few small chunks. While this occurs, Davy turns back to the Dragon and gives him the bird in return, much more impressive due to the fact that his middle finger is much longer.
The electrical field dissipates, and Darklore recovers in time to see Davy hobbling towards him with his AIDs Blade in his hand, finger wrapped round the hilt, and his still clacking claw in the other. Ignoring the small puddles of blackish fluid, presumably disintegrated or melted flesh or something coming from the remains of the coins, and a burning smell coming from both his own face and Darklore’s, the pirate clicks his claw again. “Last chance, God Slayer. If ye ever wanna drop the souls, me Locker is always waiting.”
|
|
|
|
Post by Monster Master on Sept 26, 2007 13:36:36 GMT -5
On the ground, even with his body smoking and steaming, a demonic form of laughter begins to escape the helmet-like mask covering his face.
"You think I'll give you what are rightfully mine!?" He snarled as he got to his feet, placing both legs firmly on the ground, "What I have gained and what I have created.. Just because you can't do your own job!?"
The God Slayer rose his mace into the air, shadow-like lightning coursing through it as a ball of darkness rose into air. It quickly began to grow, doubling, then tripling, and so-on and so-on within just a few seconds. Soon the area around both were coated in the Shadow Dome.
"Maybe if you give me YOUR souls..." Darklore added more emphasis, "I shall LET you live! Just maybe."
The city was now in the orb. Darkness with no lights. Every light was extinguished , the pirate was now in his world.
"Welcome to my world, bitch!" The pirate heard Darklore shout before he felt the beast's jaws clamp around his throat. He felt his legs lift off the ground followed by "What goes up must come down!"
Davy groaned as his back was smashed against the ground in the choke-slam. Blood and other fluids escaped the teeth marks in his throat, and his back felt like it was struck by Milenko's Hammer.
"Ye gonna' pay for that!" The pirate muttered, not knowing that Darklore was holding the mace above his head, ready to bring it down.
|
|
|
|
Post by HyperGFreak on Sept 28, 2007 21:44:50 GMT -5
Fortunately for Davy Stoned, his neck quickly stop oozing ichor, his lack of blood preventing more than a few drops of acidic gore to drip onto the ground, steaming and eating into it. The teeth marks in his neck are a different story, but the indents in his rubbery flesh are slowly rebounding. The bad captain can’t see worth shit, and is just starting to rise to his feet when the club of Darklore falls from the sky.
The flattening of his hat alerts him of the incoming object, and he can hear the God Slayer hissing in glee as his club sinks deeply in...and halts. Darklore gives his club a hefty tug, but the weapon remains fully wedged in the pirate’s chest. Davy’s form doesn’t appear to change, but he goes immaterial for another brief second to step back off the club, scratching where it stuck with his claw.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” he mutters as he stares around, trying to see something. “Itches every time that happens. So, ye want me souls? Ye can have them!”
Darklore opens his mouth to say something derisive, before he figures out that Davy isn’t speaking metaphorically. Grayish talons explode out of the rubble at the behemoths’ feet, rising high up into the air. In the meantime, Davy tries to make good his escape, teleporting back several hundred meters at a time to see if there is an end to this stupid pitch-blackness. There isn’t.
The God Slayer doesn’t have time to go after the pirate, though, as he finds himself confronted by the souls of rabid hooker chicks. Giant, putrid women with no eyes in their sockets and feral leers, with flakes of grayish flesh falling off their naked bodies and holes all over their forms, a trio closes in on him, their incredibly massive and oversized breasts drooping and their tits dragging along the floor.
The wildly swinging club clips one, and her head flies off somewhere into the orb of darkness, her body dropping to the ground and dissipating instantly. The other two look at each other, furious at the destruction of one of their kind. “The Cleavage Crusher?”
“Absolutely.”
Before the God Slayer can react, one of the whores grasp his shoulders in her hands and swings her body in just the right way, sending a pair of incredibly oversized knockers swinging through the air to sandwich and crush Darklore’s upper body, while the other one repeats the process from behind, crushing his legs in her cleavage. Air can literally be heard to gush from the gaps between the immense, rotting objects, as the momentum literally flattens Darklore.
Finally, as the God Slayer begins to slip loose, both of the beasts dissipate, letting the demonic fighter drop to the floor. Darklore’s arms have been pinioned to his sides, and his legs have been crushed together, giving him a slightly two-dimensional look. However, the main damage have been done to his limbs, which have absorbed the majority of the blow and now have about ten to twenty meter deep craters carved out of them, the rest of the flesh having disintegrated. Any lesser being would be in incredibly agony by now, but somehow Davy didn’t think Darklore would fall so easily.
Speaking of the captain, he now stood about a thousand meters away, still blind as a drunken hobo snoring on the floor and with no clue what was going on. “All right, go easy now, ye hear?” Davy calls into the blackness. “I gave ye me souls, ye can have ‘em all if ye want, just take ‘em to me locker when you’re done.”
Then, not trusting the God Slayer one bit, he takes his Smirnoff and begins pouring it all over the floor, causing giant gouts of flame to sail into the air.
|
|
|
|
Post by Monster Master on Sept 28, 2007 22:13:12 GMT -5
Darklore snorts as he grasps one of the hooker's throats in his hand. The chick's neck exploded into gore before the rest of his did whatever they do when they die. The remaining one backed away as Darklore stood up, his mace slapping against his hand. The fire was far away enough, and his darkness prevented any light from coming from it. And funny enough, the pirate had aimed in the complete wrong direction.
The hooker stepped back, but tripped on a building and fell. Her hind arched upward.
"You've been a bad bitch!" Darklore answered as he turned the mace sideways, "Time to show this bitch why the wicked ones call the clobber-Meister!" The mace was shoved, end first, into the bitch's ass. She let out a yelp as her body was hoisted into the air, now one with the God Slayer's mace.
Twisted laughter came from the demon as he held the bitch over his shoulder. She continued to twitch and move, but the spikes on the mace had her at his mercy. He had none. He walked forward Davy before swinging the mace, along with the hooker, down on his head. The pirate fell to the ground with a grunt..
"What the!?" He shouted as he felt the body of the hooker smash into his body again.
"Come on, work it baby!" Darklore snorted as he smashed her, with his mace, on the pirate again, "You can do better than that!"
She suddenly screamed, either in pain or in orgasm, and for Davy's sake, he was hoping the wetness on his chest was his own blood and not this AIDs infested whore soul. Her body slumped off the mace and laid across the pirate's in a foul, nasty 69. A 69 Darklore intended to end as he put his foot on her ass and began to press down, driving her crotch into the pirate's face.
|
|
|
|
Post by HyperGFreak on Oct 2, 2007 9:39:07 GMT -5
(Sorry for delay...)
Beating a ball of rubber will damage the ball; however, it will not puncture the ball. Especially since Davy is rather lacking in the internal fluids department, the liquid on his chest was most definitely not his own. However, Davy never really cared about what exactly happened with his whore souls, especially because he himself carried Super-AIDs in his blood, and was thus immune to every and all form of STDs. Still, having a nasty crotch pressed into his face was not his first choice, and so his beard interfered, wrapping around the soul's thighs and shoving her back, keeping the distance equal. One tendril accidentally enters a certain opening right before his eyes, and both of them scream, one with pain, the other with fury.
"If yer not going to be helpful or anything, get yer arse out of me face!" Davy snarled at the soul, which is more than happy to dissipate and leave only her gooey, AIDs-infested blood behind.
While he still can't see, some of the wet residue still on Darklore's club drips to the ground beside his face, garnered when it was shoved into a certain part of the female anatomy. "Argh, ye'll have a hell of a time getting that off," Davy commented, swinging his foot around blindly in the pitch blackness. "I've tried almost everything, and ye'll have a hell of a time getting it out of yer clothes. I'd say drop it into a volcano or something and pick it back up, that'll fix it."
As it turns out, Davy's foot isn't long enough to reach Darklore, and the God Slayer laughs in derision as he watches the crab peg leg flailing in the darkness. He stops laughing when Davy takes a wild guess and activates the leg's telescoping function, stabbing out blindly into the darkness with an extending blade. The sharpened tip slams into Darklore's abdomen, making a squeak as it bounces off the rubbery surface.
Appeased, Davy starts to chortle as the leg begins to rotate like a drill, faster and faster as it suddenly shoots even further out. It smashes into the gut and begins to pulverize through, sending microscopic particles of demonic flesh into the air which dissipate before they even near the ground. The leg drills straight through, the spinning bristly hairs in its joint scratching as it enters, before the tip stabs out the back moments later. Giving one last spin to ensure maximum hole size, Davy hastily retracts the leg and stabs it into the ground as it goes, pivoting to gain speed and lift himself up.
He also ends up unsheathing the AIDs Blade and using his momentum to swing around 360 degrees, taking a hack at Darklore's side to match the new hole in it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Monster Master on Oct 2, 2007 14:49:41 GMT -5
The pirate though, didn't get the second shot in. All he felt was pain rip through his body, his feet rise from the ground, and his body shoot backward. The dinosaur-like jaws on Darklore's arm closed as the Shadow Beam stopped its fire. The deity rolled to a stop some hundred yards away, its chest burned and clothes still smoking.
"Let us show the world what you look like!" The demon commented as he lifted his mace, the darkness dome pulling back into it..
|
|
|
|
Post by HyperGFreak on Oct 3, 2007 9:31:34 GMT -5
“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m so damn pretty,” Davy muttered as he staggered back up to his feet, a fact made more difficult by his still semi-unretracted peg leg.
Ignoring the smoke wafting up from the gaping hole in his shirt, the blackened rubbery stuff below it, and the rest of his body, Davy clacks his lobster claw in the air and roars, “Ye dirty, beam-spamming, lazy-posting swab, I’ll get ye for that!”
Then, being ever the hypocrite, Davy’s twin-barreled key emerges. Darklore doesn’t notice it, expecting something much bigger, but either way, Davy’s beard writhes and twin tentacles wrapped around a thick, iron lock opener suddenly pop out to the side. The God Slayer’s main warning comes when there is a Sci-fi original movie special effect sound, with a whooshing of energy, followed by a spiral of semi-translucent, orangish air around the twin barrels of the key.
Moments later, each barrel relinquishes a surprisingly thick golden heat laser, the blast of energy warping and twisting as it sails towards Darklore. Both of the rays slam into Darklore’s chest and are strafed up his body, the combined firepower – both literally and metaphorically – causing great detonations and gouts of flame. Finally, Davy ends up a “high” note by giving the demonic hellbeast a good second or two in the face, culminating in an earth-shaking and really overly dramatic explosion of orange flame that flies into the sky.
Rubbery burning chunks, as well as a rather nasty smell, fill the air, the former crashing down to earth and setting various objects and running people alight. If Darklore could be blackened any more, he would have been, but as it was all that could be seen of the damage were two deep furrows running up his chest and a pitted face, all of his body smoking and steaming. To his credit, he shrugs off the attack and only takes a few steps back, not even bothering to trip as the back of his foot smashes into a convenience store.
When he recovers, Davy is charging towards him, AIDs Blade firmly wrapped in hand, that dick Norrington’s rapier held tight in the Claw, and the key slashing and swinging with his energy blade, ready to take on the club of doom, death, and other bad, whore-anal-raping things.
|
|
|
|
Post by Monster Master on Oct 3, 2007 18:24:09 GMT -5
The God Slayer stands readily as the blade comes down, stabbing into his rubber-like flesh. Chunks of material fall to the ground as he drops to a knee, snarling in rage.
"Gotcha!" He snorted as the large, spear-like weapons lashed out from his back. The first stabbed directly downward into the shoulder while the second moved forward, stabbing itself into the pirate's chest.
Like a retracting snake, the spears came out, the force rushing Davy backward, liquid and fluid spewing from his open wounds. "Come on!" Darklore shouted as he lifted his club.. bringing it down toward the beast's skull.
|
|
|
|
Post by HyperGFreak on Oct 4, 2007 9:32:58 GMT -5
Davy’s swordmanship skills come into play, his blades preparing themselves to move even as he falls backwards, relinquished and freed from the crazy spear-things. He also takes the moment to scream something at the God Slayer about lazy posts in what he think is the typical dialect of whatever it is they speak in hell – Satanese? – but is actually a crude term in whatever they speak down in the Caribbean.
Even though Darklore’s club is an omnipotent weapon of mass destruction, Davy still manages to counter it with the demi-godly AIDs Blade and the fully mundane rapier, rolling to his feet and instinct kicking in as both of the weapons rise up above his head. Before the spiked part can connect, the twin blades lock into a X-shape and slam into the elongated area, holding the club still and pushing it back through copious utilization of Davy’s impressive six-pack muscles.
Darklore hastily attempts to remove the club and bring it around again, but Davy attacks now with the triad of his blades. The lightsaber-key opens up first, making a flurry of slashes at Darklore’s head: one from the left down, sweeping up and back through to the right, back in the direction from whence it had first came, and a last stab. As the demonic thing stumbled back, steaming valleys carved into his face, Davy simultaneously rams the rapier into his chest and knocks the club aside to swing the AIDs Blade in from the side.
The first, stabbing weapon smashes into the armored chest plating and shatters part of it before puncturing deep into the rubbery flesh. The other blade, rusty and coated with sexual-transmitted diseases, slashes halfway through the bone-armor-less gap around the God Slayer’s waist. It stays like this for a moment, what little blood Davy had in his body in the first place already halting the flow from the two puncture wounds, before he rips out. Kaiju fist-sized chunks fall from the side wound, leaving an incredibly deep gash, while smaller bits fall from the less impressive rapier hole.
Before Darklore can fully recover, the pirate’s blades had gone away. The Claw of Castration locked on the club wielding wrist, while, in a show of incredibly idiotic masochistic actions, Davy shoved his own wrist into Darklore’s jaw arm, seeing of the demon was willing to lock them together.
|
|
