Darklore (MM) vs. Davy Stoned (Hyper)

[Monster Master]

The God Slayer, not will to take more free damage, turns hollow once more. The finger does nothing. Annoyed, Davy curses and snorts, but his temper tantrum is quickly silenced as Darklore's arm lashed upward. The pirate's jaws were forced as wide as they can open as the demon's arm was thrust down his throat, up to his elbow.

"Deep throat. Bitch!" The demon shouted as his spear-like appendages lifted up and thrust forward. The points exploded into the pirate's gut, and the free hand of the God Slayer hoisted up the mace, smashing it down on the pirate's skull. A sickening crack echoed through the area as the pirate's head was split, his hat falling to the side and a gory fissure parting his head down the middle as if it were an egg shell.

The demon's legs came up and pushed forward, forcing the pirate back and allowing him to role back and stand up. The demon pulled a bitching pose before swinging his body and lifting one leg..

"COURTESY OF CHUCK NORRIS!" He shouted as he performed a Round House Kick.

[HyperGFreak]

((OOC: *chuckles* Match with the most laugh-out-loud moments ever for me, with the exception of Milenko and his overcooked hot dog, which had me rolling for days. Let’s make humor a habit...))

In homage to the king of uberness himself, Darklore slashes his foot up and around, aiming it directly at Davy’s head. However, as Stoned’s eyes narrow, and his cheek pore puckers, the God Slayer will soon regret this mistake. His beard is semi-burned, and few tentacles are still there, but with a grimace more of anger than annoyance, it suddenly thickens again as Davy pulls more tendrils out of nowhere, lashing green strands tumbling out from beneath his chin to cover his entire chest in their length and the rest flapping over his shoulders.

Davy turns, and Darklore’s leg makes a direct path for his face, or rather his beard. Suddenly, the demon stops, and suddenly flails, caught off balance, windmilling his arms. He cannot fall backwards, as his entire lower leg is suddenly wrapped in Davy’s beard, each talon and protrusion coated in yellowish-green tendrils that hold him steady.

The pirate glares at him, the One Bling to Rule Them All shining out from beneath his beard. “And ye shall rue the day ye challenged...the GOD OF TENTACLE RAPE.”

~~~~~~~~~~

In the distance, miles away, where Ross stands with his famous BBQ, a second figure steps up beside him, a balding, hunchbacked Japanese man inhaling the aroma of cooked meat gratefully. As Ross watches him in slight curiosity, the man suddenly looks at Davy and Darklore and throws his arms up, leaping for joy and exposing skinny legs beneath his clothing as he yells.

Hokusai, the great and wonderful creator of tentacle rape, roars, “IN THE MOUTH! OH, THE WONDERFUL PLEASURE AND BLISS IN THE MOUTH!”

~~~~~~~~~~

Darklore lets out a curse and reaches for his club to beat Davy and his hat into another world of pain, but is stopped when Davy’s still extended middle finger suddenly loops around his neck. The God Slayer reaches out to clutch at it as the bad captain reels him in like a fish, relinquishing his foot at the same time.

Darklore only has about half a second to gasp for breath before the writhing mass of beard tendrils engulfs his face, his vision obscured by hundreds of clutching suckers and the like. They cover his eyes, what remains of his armor, and his flesh, probing and poking the entire time.

He opens his cavernous maw to yell “SHIT!” or some other curse, but that is a mistake, for Stoned’s beard instantly switches tact and shoves its way into his mouth. Realizing his mistake, the God Slayer tries to say something, but all that results are his fangs puncturing a few tendrils and sending acidic stuff into his face. The rest of the tentacles slide into his body, a few of them wrapping around his teeth and holding them such that if he attempts to move his mouth, lances of pain will strike him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Back over on the hill, Hokusai seizes some of Ross’s barbecue, hot and steaming, and regardless of the pain to his fingers throws it into his mouth and swallows it whole. He then returns to his utterly ridiculous jig, screaming the whole time, “THE FISHERMAN WIFE’S DREAM! THE FISHERMAN WIFE’S DREAM! OH, SPICY BABY, OH, SPICY OCTOPI IN HOLES!!!”

~~~~~~~~~~

Darklore’s entire body convulses as he is tentacle raped, molested by squid parts, Davy’s beard splitting up as it goes deeper into his body. The majority of his tendrils suddenly go into Darklore’s head, and the beast attempts to clutch at it, the intruding parts causing excruciating agony. He swats at himself, claws at his face, but nothing will stop the large lumps slowly rising and falling as the beard probes the inside of his head and rises out of his eye sockets.

Suddenly, from a dozen orifices on his face and neck, greenish snakes tear from his flesh, sprouting like the roots of a tree. The beard tentacles rip out, wriggling to widen holes, then suddenly each loop to another opening, trying to squeeze their way into each other. Obviously, being connected to another part within, incredibly force is exerted all over parts of Darklore’s head, two parts of his body being pulled towards each other.

The result is that the majority of his face, ram horns excluded, explodes, chunks of flesh sailing into the sky and most of his armor flying as his skin and sinew are destroyed to reveal the nasty sight of tentacles spinning beneath.

Meanwhile, the longest of Davy’s tentacles slide down his neck, examining every crevice and nook, causing Darklore to gag and retch. Still, once entering his innards, the beards begin to writhe and slash, causing him to try and double over as it ricochets off walls and bounces around, long gashes appearing as if apparently from nowhere.

That done, Davy finally hefts Darklore off the ground, his beard going berserk within and pulling Darklore into a very uncomfortable position that he holds for a second, before a resounding crack issues through the air and pain shoots through his entire body. The God Slayer releases either a curse or a scream as he falls back to the ground, bouncing once.

Davy curses as well, disappointed in his inability to snap Darklore’s neck. “Damn...close,” he mutters, lifting up his foot to deliver a violent axe kick to the God Slayer’s face.

~~~~~~~~~~

“The Fisherman Wife’s Dream!” Hokusai screams one last time before jumping on Ross and giving him a hug.

((OOC: Google Image Search the Dream, you’ll retch. xD ))

[Monster Master]

So.. OR.. Wanna' draw this or what..?

[Omegarex24]

Sorry for the delay. Work got in the way. Heh, that ryhmed.

Anywho, MM, finish off Davy. You two fought really hard, but Hyper just seemed to fool around more often than MM did. That, and the Godslayer Mace came in quite handy.

So, do what you wanna do. I've got work in half an hour.

[Monster Master]

Wow.. I won.. Was sure Davy had me..
----

The ax kick did nothing more that pass through Darklore's hollow body. With out mercy, the God Slayer's arm shot up, gripping a handful of tentacles. A quick yank and they were thrown from his face, flopping on the ground with bloody spurts. The demon's head then shot down, smashing the helmet-like head into Davy's. His flesh bled and skull cracked like an egg shell as he slumped forward.

Extremely pissed off by the pirate's last move, the demon walked to the side. He lifted his mace and pointed it down. He pulled his arm back and took aim.. and then the pirate yelped, then screamed. The mace, from the round spiked top to the handle, had been stuffed in his ass.

"Take it like a f*cking man!" Darklore shouted as he released he made the mace fire a shadow bolt. The bolt tore through Davy's body, making a burned trail of black from his ass, through his stomach, in his throat, before exploding out his mass, and at the same time, removing all of the deity's teeth.

Darklore cracked his neck and pulled his now-bloody mace out. Davy, at once, fell to his stomach in a bloody mess. The demon walked around, his jawed hand snapping open and closed before clamping around Davy's head. A quick twist, pulled by a pull, tore off the pirate's head. A geyser of blood spewed out as Darklore shouted in glee. "I WIN!"